MAgical mySTERy tour...

but god this takes me back!!!

I have some really freaky hidden fears, that's for sure. If my dreams are anything to go by that is!

The other night I had a dream about sweetymon, she was on my sofa crying and I was telling her it's all ok because I love her and it will be fine. Now I hope sweetymon doesn't think "OMG what is he saying??" - the truth is I have only said a couple of words to her in my life at the blog meet in Liverpool. So I think the other side of my brain is living in some secret parallel universe somewhere and when I am asleep the two worlds cross paths?? We can only imagine!

But that's only the beginning of the strange dreams I have been having.

On Saturday night I had a dream that my tripod came alive and tried to kill my dog! Even though I haven't actually got a dog, and I don't think my tripod could possibly come to life!

Then last night, the weirdest of weird dreams...

An old friend whom in reality isn't talking to me, decided to ask me out for a meal. She suggested we could spend the day together and of course I accepted, mainly because it would be nice to see her again. But when I met her there were lots of weird things happening around, and we went to this really nice hotel lounge bar to drink. Then out the blue she said that she was going to get changed and came back in a wedding dress! I was like "OMG you are getting married, why would you do that to me?".

She then promptly replied "Yes I am - to you Kevin".

Arrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!!!!! My heart was flipping out (barring in mind this isn't good when awake, let alone whilst asleep!), and I was looking around for my mum and dad thinking "Has this all been arranged without me? WTF will I say? I will have to say "no" and break her heart in front of everyone!!!".

And then my alarm went off for work!!! YAY!!! Thank God for accidentally leaving my alarm on when I am not even going to work. Phew....

Just saw her again on Britains got Talent - definite winner!

LMFAO

These wedding pictures were taken during the recent earthquake in China. They show the destructive power of such a quake. The building in question was over 100 years old. Everyone escaped unharmed.

I've just realised I need my job! *butts the table*.

I need some entertainment or something. God why can't I just relax? What do people do during the day?

One of the many things I said on the phone last night as Man U beat Chelski to win the Champions League Final!

Why oh why did I go to a Manc pub to watch the game??? Maybe I was being a bit Jose Arrogante assuming Chelski would win and I would be the only smug one there? I don't know!

Either way feel free to beat me around the head 17 times with a large cucumber for being so stupid! And why did I get up at the arse crack of dawn and drive back home, only to sit here wondering why I even took a half day off work???

My brain hurts - right now I wish I could just chop a little bit of it off. For several reasons!

My mum can't drive!

We went out for a meal, my mum and dad, sister and her boyf - and me! So during the return home we were driving along and my mum didn't see the red light and almost ran over the poor people crossing the road! After several loud shouts of "LIGHTS!!!!" she slammed on! Finally!

So then a little while later she was going 28mph down a 40 road - admittedly it felt a little faster being in the back, but I could clearly see the speedo and it was 28! So out the blue my sisters bloke shouts "CAMERA!!!!!!" because we were approaching a speed camera, and so my mum then proceeds to slam on to a full stop! On the dual carriageway!!! WTF!!!!

I think we annoyed a lot of people, but it was so funny I couldn't stop laughing. Nobody could - including my mum. But phew, we got home safe! Thank God for that!!!!

I had a nice night, it was nice spending it with my family.

Send me a text from an unrecognised number saying "Happy Birthday dad!".

Thanks!!!!!

*goes to work all freaked out*

EDIT - maybe they mean't lad? *grasps at straws*

As I walked past the children playing in the sun outside the nursery, I smiled as I noticed a cheeky little lad handing a plant pot with a little plant in it to a girl who was there. The teacher raised her voice slightly and said "Kevin, Kevin put that plant back!", and it made me smile even more so. It was like looking back at me without it being a lucid dream! Plants, girls, presents - gosh I haven't changed a bit! So now I see what he will turn out like

So whilst I was commissioning a server at the school I realised that all this stress I have been feeling has left me as quick as it had arrived. And the reason why it arrived - because I am broody!

I know, gosh I shouldn't be admitting these things but I really want to settle down and have a family of my own. I want to wake up and kiss my wife first thing in the morning (and enjoy sharing our morning breath), I want to walk my son or daughter (or both) to school of a morning before starting my cushy job as a Management Information Systems Consultant and I want to know that I have my family to come home from work to.

I wrote a blog just recently saying how much I am starting to see special things in people and I am ready. Well I didn't really click at the time but I really am ready.

And what caused my stress was the fact that I was rushing towards my 31st birthday on Monday with great trepidation! I am 31 and my one, my soul-mate still hasn't come to me! I have lived so much and lost a lot, mostly by choice. It seems that I overcomplicate every part of my life - and it makes me just walk away. What if I have missed out?

But I suddenly see that life isn't over for me yet - I have a lot of great things to offer. I just distracted myself for a moment with dreams of a fairytale with a girl whom I used to know. But she has gone now - moved on because I didn't move on with her. And so maybe it is time I didn't wait for my one to appear. Maybe I should have some more adventure. And maybe someone else who is ready will see that I am ready. And we will click and it will happen.

But even if it doesn't for a while, I think I shall enjoy myself non-the-less! Roll on!...

I broke my own rule - I have come to this.

I have joined Facebook!!! Any other Facebookers out there who want to add me send me a pm. I am new to this remember so be patient with me.

And also, I just want to say thank you for everyones kind words. I have been going through my own personal hell lately and your words help me turn things around. Rest assured I don't have an eating disorder, my nerves just stop me from having an appetite. It's the power of the mind.

I hope all is well...

So as you may well have gathered, I have been going through difficult times of late - mainly my own doing and my own stupidity. I fell in love with a fairytale, something which was precisely that, and I forgot there was no such thing. But anyway, I am getting back on track now and I am doing ok. Feck it - you know what, I cant blog anymore. I just cant do this anymore.

I've lost 11lb since Monday. Now it stops! I was a great weight - now I'm just skinny!

It's time I reversed this. It's time for a new beginning. Yes it's time!

And who wants to go away on some crazy arse journey somewhere away from normality?

I am seeing a lot of kindness in people of late. And more. People are becoming gorgeous to me again. Yep I think I am ready!

I just realised I had a donner burger with chips!!!!!!

*hangs head in shame*

Well yes - it happened to me. What was I thinking linking to porn, and that previous post is a very drunked one if ever I saw it?!

Oh god - remind me never to go on mad drinking sessions and come online! Please!

Oh hell yeah!! Strange day but i am happy!

Here someone new might like this...

So anyways, I went to this casino alone for the first time. I was talking to the barmaid about my very strange day and she told me many tricks of the trade. I rather like that barmaid I hope she is there next time

So yes on to my strange day! Hang on I will upload a pic...

So where was Crouch?? Hey?? Hmmm....

So anyways, after the match I ran to the pub - the trouble is there was much torrential rain!!! And I was soaked!! Beyond soaked! I had no coat and I was due to go out. So anyways I met a guy in the pub who said "I can lend you a shirt!". So randomly I headed off to Timbuktu and got myself a clean shirt to head into town. We exchanged numbers and I left my current soaking wet shirt there!

So then he tells me that he has a problem. But his problem means he can get a ticket under disability for any Liverpool match ever... plus one spare! So hey presto I now have whatever ticket I will ever need for the match!! What a fluke!!!

In town it was vibrant and sexy! As always in Liverpool. I met many girls and many random strangers - and it was fun! But at the end of it all, the two guys looked like if I left then they would pull - so I left! That don't call me Mr Martyr for nothing! Ok joke but anyways, I left them to it. I have had my fair share in life - I class myself as and elder now!

So off I walked to the bus station!

This was at 2.08am. Got there and the bus is at 4.08am! Balls!!! But there were two guys just waiting there! "You looking for a bus dude? Where ya going?"

"Oh Maghull" I replied.

"Yeah us too - wanna get a taxi?"

"Ok cool!".

So they rang a taxi and I waited for 15 mins with them. But we walked around the corner to the car and I heard one of them say to the other "Well it's free isnt it!".

Instantly I thought "Feckin hell" and got a wee bit paranoid and made my excuses and buggered off. I bet they were gonna jump the taxi and leave me with the bill. So I decided to go to the casino till 4am!

£15 I won!!!!!! Woohoo... I never lose in there! It's great!

So I left the Casino at 4am and got to the bus station. It was cancelled!! Just as I arrived!! SCHISSE!!!!

But there were 4 people there. "Wanna get a taxi?" - the said.

"Yeah - lets"

So we did and I got out first! And ran off and left them with the bill!!!! LOL j.k I paid a tenner - bargain for them me thinks!! But who cares, I had a rather wonderful day. Ya know what - life is so funny - but I love it Yes, I love it very very much!...

So yesterday I went to take that phone back I mentioned in a previous post. It was quite busy in the Carphone Warehouse so I looked at some accessories etc etc.

10 minutes later they served someone who came in after me!!! So I destroyed the whole shop - ok no I didn't, but I imagined doing it and it make me happy. I then left and decided to go to Vodafone. But changed my mind suddenly when I felt a little ill! So I went home and had an omelette instead!

I shall try again some time this week - hopefully when it's less busy and with a little more success!

It's a nice looking phone - it's just a bit annoying since I have been using Sony's for the past few years. So anyways it broke so I took it back to the Vodafone shop where I bought it. And here's what they said: -

VF - "It's usable so we cant swap it"
MMT - "But the screen is blurry and the resolution is all wrong"
VF - "Seriously Samsung wont take it back under warranty because it's usable. It's hard to see what the difference is from a brand new D900i"
MMT - "Ok have you got one, I will show you the difference?"
VF - "Yes, but it's sealed in the box"
MMT - "But when I was picking a phone, you took loads of them out of their boxes and I eventually picked this one. So if I was buying a phone you could take it out the box?"
VF - "Yes but that's not my policy, that's Vodafone policy. Take it to the Samsung repair centre and see if they will fix it"
MMT - "Where is that?"
VF - "It's in your book which you got with the phone"
MMT - "Bloody hell that's the last time I buy anything from Vodafone"

And so I left - annoyed!

So I looked in my little book when I got home and the Samsung warranty repair centre is in the Carphone Warehouse in Aintree. Now I looked online and it is correct that Samsung wont swap or repair it if it's usable, but last night I found a loophole!

If I say that the screen is broken and I can't text much because it's makes me ill by giving me migraines then they have to fix it. Because it's causing me ill health! So I shall either drive to Aintree or hike into Liverpool and stick the phone up the dudes arse and force him to swap it because it's making me ill!

A white lie wont hurt anyone I am sure - but it better get me a new phone!

Now you see I already have a new phone, but that's not the point. I have now signed a new contract (with Vodafone - ahem), and I managed to somehow get them to pay me £50 to have this phone...

Back to Sony!!! I have to say, it's actually the best phone I have ever had! It's amazing and it's 5mp Camera is so good! It may be a little fatter than the Samsung but to be honest I like a bit of meat on sexy things

Still - I want to swap my old phone because I am selling it for £45! (I had it for 3 months and I bought it for £80, so they're getting a bargain). And that £45 will go a great way towards buying myself a beloved Wii Fit! Because I want one - I can happily pretend to Hula in my room without having to look rather feminine in the garden or outdoors

Ok wish me luck - I'm off to the Carphone Warehouse (I think)

Keyboards 'dirtier than a toilet'

Some computer keyboards harbour more harmful bacteria than a toilet seat, research has suggested.

Consumer group Which? said tests at its London offices found equipment carrying bugs that could cause food poisoning.

Out of 33 keyboards swabbed, four were regarded as a potential health hazard and one harboured five times more germs than one of the office's toilet seats.

I think from now on that person with the dirtiest keyboard should be called "BOG HEAD" or "SHIT BAG" maybe? (feel free to suggest some more)

I also heard some photocopiers were found to contain the same germs as the keyboard!  So they're the culprit then!!!

Click HERE for full story

It was a simple plan really.

I figured why go to Moscow to watch the game and fork out £300 per night for a room? So I devised another plan and this is what I came up with.

A train from Moscow to St Petersburg, leaving Moscow at 11.55pm. It's an overnight train so there are beds on the train. You arrive in St Petersburg at 7am, spend the day there and then get the train back overnight again. Then fly the next day.

The total cost of the train?? According to this site (click for link), it costs about $140! Not sure which $ they are but hey - still a bargain if you ask me!

Plus you get to go and see two amazing cities!

Alas I am no longer going for my birthday because we lost - but feel free to borrow my idea and save hundreds!